Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
