you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
