Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
