she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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