She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
