Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
