well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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