She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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