come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My life is pants optional.
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