Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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