Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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