I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
