How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
