Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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