Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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