Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
