It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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