I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
