So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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