Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
