i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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