I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
