If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
