it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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