Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
