What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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