okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Terrible idea I love it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
