I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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