I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
