It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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