Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
