i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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