she was so not down for the gang bang
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
