I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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