Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
