How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
