i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
