Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
