I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
