Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
