don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
