i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
