Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
