I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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