I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I look better un-naked...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That accounts for only three of the penises
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Damn victory sex feels great
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