Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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