i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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