She's JV to your varsity
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
