Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
