no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
