He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
